Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
