JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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