well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
