OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
