That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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