Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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