New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
