Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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