i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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