Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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