she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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