non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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