People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
