Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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