Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
