You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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