Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
