May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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