Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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