Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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