I'm sorry my penis didn't work
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
