the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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