ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
