Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
