well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
