Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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