a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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