There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
