OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
