im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
