Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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