don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
