Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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