worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So much rum. So many feels.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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