so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
