if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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