but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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