just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My feet surprised me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
