Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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