I think I died a long time ago.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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