it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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