So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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