no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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