i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
