why do cheetos always look like penises
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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