Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
there's paper in my vomit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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