I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
