Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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