If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
