Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
