Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
