I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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