she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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