i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
