he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
