I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
