That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
