When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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